Prologue, that’s what lead me to write this article.
The other day I was chatting with my friend about ver relationship, ve has fallen in love with a person of Buddhist religion, ve was a Catholic, I was more interested in the relationship, I’ve learnt to look past such trivial boundaries such as religion and race, but to ver it seemed like a big blinking dot on a radar heading to sink ver ship.
Ve was worried about how strict ver parents are and about how they preferred ver going out with a person of Catholic religion, ve was wondering why parents were strict on their preferences, it’s not like everyone whose non-catholic is evil.
I am trying switch to a non gender specific form of writing, it’s hard especially when you try humanize while maintaining neutrality, which means I can’t just use “it” everywhere there’s a “he” or a “she”, like it was a fucking robot, so after searching around I found these cool set of pronouns, so in short, no!, those aren’t spelling mistakes you just saw in that last paragraph (though the spelling checker in Mozilla disagreed with me, a lot).
Ver = Him/Her
Vis = His/Hers
Ve = He/She
Verself = Himself/Herself
It was quite evident that ve was worried, and not everyone can just click their heels three times like Dorothy and leave the KonservAtive NormS of their pArentS, however something ve said took my mind on to a different line of thought.
Ve said “I wish parents just understand! ve’s not a bad person”.
Ve was quite right, ver partner was not a bad person at all.
I asked ver “Would you do the same to your child?”.
“What?” Ve asked, confusingly.
“Would you be strict on who your children should marry, if you ended up marrying someone who is catholic and had children, would you?” Specificity was key, I guess.
“No!” ve said with a tender pitiful look on ver face, the look of pity on ver nonexistent children, I suppose.
This made me think about what our generation is really about. It’s a great transition from what the previous generation was, what we couldn’t/weren’t allowed to become and what we would let our children become (prolly because of what we go through now).
This is why I decided to incorporate ver story into my view, an example of how I feel about the problem and why I think that we are a transitional generation.
Gone like the Dinosaurs
What are the gifts we’ll leave for our kids, what has the last generation given us? What do we plan to carry forward? And what should we leave behind? What will we leave behind? Who are we really?
We were taught the same societal values that our parents were taught by their parents. The same old traditions, cultural norms and expected behaviors they want to see from us, but each generation is different from another this I consider as the “gift”, and you know the thing with gifts? It’s very hard to get the right one for someone, and we’ve been getting the wrong gift for half a millennia now!
The best example is music, each generation has been criticized by the previous for ruining the value and quality of music, with the introduction of “new” music genres. Accused of having bad tastes in music, they in turn grow up to criticize the next Read More [Millennials and their music tastes].
Not to mention the criticism of musical instruments. apparently good music can only be produced if it doesn’t come from a computer, so a violin is an instrument, but the launchpad is garbage? Using cotton to dampen the vibrato of an old cello is OK but Ableton Live is the work of Satan?
Fear of the unknown, of something new, something they don’t prefer, for a species that reproduces sexually (which means that each generation is supposed to be different), we spend more time trying to act like single celled asexual microbes, ah irony…
Not another a prologue…, (Lateral Learning)
No no, it’s a continuation of my conversation with ver, I inquired ver about ver willingness to convert or ver partner, to which ve responded “I am quite religious myself”, and I wondered if so.. Why a Buddhist partner then…, well it’s simple really, ve’s accepted ver for who ve is.
Ver own confusion was why ve was willing to accept ver partner into ver life but not ver parents, ve wouldn’t want to change a thing of ver, and vice versa, ve just wants to accept as things are, but not ver parents.
My understanding is that ve has learnt the same things ver parents did about marrying in their own religion, with respect to their traditions, but lateral learning, educated ver about acceptance of others, but we haven’t really got there have we? We’re still on the brink.
To explain more on lateral learning I’ve included two videos here, (you don’t have to see the entire thing now, only 15 seconds of each clip, it shows how a millennial kid educates himself about LGBTQ, and how his perspective changes in just three years), the videos were taken three years apart, and the reason the kid gives in the last video is just epic!
This kid’s reaction to LGBTQ was not in favor, just see only the first few seconds and then go on to see the next video.
This video is taken three years after the first video was taken of the same kid, and listen to the reasons why his perspective changed, just see the first few seconds, you can read on and watch the whole thing later.
We learn about the tragedies of the past in third person, we see them for their stupidity, and we rise above them whenever possible, starting from all the wars built on religious and racial differences to the petty separations in domestic environments.
As the youth we try to see things on a lighter sight but we end up becoming consumed by a preexisting force of human nature. Each generation we fight harder, I truly believe this generation might be it though, we might be the ones to rise up on the top, if… we can hold it together.
Tolerance and Acceptance
They are different words, you know that right. If ver parents learnt to tolerate what has happened and move on, and thereby allowing things to progress as they are, the it’s considered to be wrong from their end, because even though ve gets what ve wants, it does not change the status quo, tolerance is not really a permanent solution, that’s just an accident waiting to happen.
Acceptance is when you truly have no problem with any of these boundaries, when you truly accept a person for who they are.
Take away your religion, culture and race what are you? if you think those are things that make you, “you”! Then perhaps spend some time building some substance to your personality. Because those aren’t you, you can choose what you want to be, in every aspect.
Society vs Humanity
Society is supposed to represent all of humanity, its culture, it’s glamour and represents the internal view of humanity. But does it? no it is a cruel dictator to which there are norms actually rules.
To me society is a dehumanized concept, one of control, rules and conditions made based on a majority rule or view, passed down as gospel from generation to generation twisted and turned against people.
A good example for this is the Salem Witch Trials. What? you thought it was just a fucking TV Series??? no it was real, not the magic and witchcraft but the trials. women of free thought and the different were hung and murdered due to mass hysteria, prejudice based on the ideology that witchcraft and magic exists (really they were just afraid of free minded women).
A decade back, wearing your headset on a bus was frowned upon, and then more and more people started doing it, and now it’s a norm. An example of how majority takes control of a norm, i.e. simple flaw in society.
How about something more recent like public breastfeeding, free the nipple movement, no bra campaign, why do they exist? Will they take their effect on our generation? unfortunately no it won’t take effect on our generation (not much at least), but it’ll be thanks to us that it’ll happen at all.
Why are we the Transitional Generation?
To understand that, you must first know what it means, to do that click here, it basically means the process of changing from one state to another. But why are we the transitional generation? Why wasn’t the last one?
We are the transitional generation because we are learning to stand up for ourselves, to fight for things, to rebel and actually make people see better ways. Humanity created most of the confinements we are trapped in and we are finally intelligent enough to walk, and see through the bars (metaphorically).
We will be more ready to accept than to tolerate, and the society that we create might be more accommodating, paving way for the unloved, and different of our generation to become accepted.
We’ve seen more positive responses from newer millennial about important topics such as LBGTQ and LGBTQ Rulings. Their reactions are mostly positive and very accommodating.
Newer millennial opinions about LGBTQ movement and related topics
LGBTQ Rulings newer millennial opinions about their rulings
We’ve witnessed great achievements in human history, which happened right round the corner, did you know that one of the Wright brothers who invented the modern Aero-plane, was still alive when the space shuttle was launched to the moon! Most of human achievements and the tech revolution was born with us, and grew with us at the helm.
Humanity first started broadcasting its existence just over 100 years back, which means our radio sphere will be around 170 light years large by the time we hit 60! and that’s just the avenue of science. Socially we’ve become more aware, and distances have become meaningless, as technology brings us closer.
Ethically we will become more accepting of people, but our children will be the ones to be born completely free of the stereotypes that exist today. We are the witnesses that chose to act and react, that’s why we are dangerous and so fiercely attacked by older generations. we’re accused of ruining the world so generalized! I’ve seen people putting posts about how anti social we are, by simply taking a photo of the youth on their phone, while older people read books.
Does that make them feel more social, I wonder? here’s a picture to show the contrast wow, all technology making us anti social huh?
Ah.. the typical “when I was your age!” social era…
I wonder what we stare at our screen for?, oh that’s right to connect with people, ah irony again!
How will a generation changing affect religion and traditions
No matter how much you say no, how much you don’t want to admit it, religion, culture and traditions has always been subjected to change. Starting from interpretation to writing, to the way it’s told.
So the simple answer, these will change to reflect the people who believe it. Here are a few examples of how churches are now including LGBTQ into their denominations, Churches that include LGBTQ.
Fun facts, when the Spanish first brought their god to South America, Jesus had to turn brown for them to accept Catholicism as a religion, you know to help with the transition, they’d never have accepted him or god if there was nothing to relate to.
Things that won’t agree to change will eventually wither away, it may be a millennia old but when it’s time to go, it’s time to go, a few years back I remember the old brick making company went bankrupt after 12 centuries of operation, how that?
Isn’t every generation a transitional generation?
No not really, in fact most of humanity is quite consistent with it’s flaws, oh yes these flaws have been running down for generations, and no one bothers to question them, the voice were never heard as well as it is now.
Do you know why democracy has representatives? It’s because there’s so many people and we can’t possibly hear all of them, but really 21st century has given us the ability to be heard again. Starting from your neighborhood activism to your online propaganda, it’s all there for us. we just have to see it properly.
But you may feel like “I used to fight/rebel like this when I was young, this is nothing new”, yes you did!, but you didn’t win!, we might, There have been attempts before during the 60s as well about similar movements, with regards to counter culture.
But the problem is we will never reap the benefits of these wishes, we can only experience what happens to us right now and then never let it happen again. You see the posts saying, “instead of teaching me how to dress, teach your kids to respect?”, “learn to cook regardless of gender”, or how about a stereotype like “I’m old enough to be married but too young to go on a trip” when do you think those things will be put into practice? When we have kids.
That’s why we are transitional generation, because we’ll never preach what we were forced to practice.
Who will rebel the rebels?
Interesting counter question, I’m portraying us as such dainty toffees, but we have our own stereotypes (perhaps the lines that separate us are different from the previous generations), starting from teaching my kids that Marvel has rich history to characters and DC likes to do things last, like their movies, there are a number of stereotypes our children might have to be worried of us.
I personally would want my kids to choose Marvel or DC on their own, but you get my subtle jest right? Personally I’m awaiting till these companies realize how much money they’ll make, doing a combo movie
But in reality not every youth grows up the same way, I’ve seen many indoctrinated youth, who like the many before them are doomed to repeat history. But focus here is on the fact that such groups many dwindle in numbers and eventually run dry, leaving the more progressive culture to take over.
Epilogue!, that’s the shit to write when ending the article
In the end I told ver what few options ve had left…
Let’s face it, it’s not the worst thing in the world, in the movies it turns out quite great. But really you don’t actually runaway forever, just till you have strong footing on your life and figured things out, “Independence with a kick start”.
Misnomers and Misconceptions, Stereotypes on Runaways
Well when it comes to running away, many people will tell you stories about their close friend’s-dog’s-best friend’s-uncle’s-cousin-twice-removed, who ran away and suffer because they “ran away” and the partner was not who they turned out to be, and similar stories like that. Well the truth is that, you can’t avoid such trauma, even if you had not run away, there is no correlation between running away, and choosing the wrong partner.
Well let me put it this way. Your parents can arrange your marriage with a wrong partner,and the possibility of that happening is worse than running away with someone you fell in love with. At least in the latter, it was a choice that you made and not one that was made for you against your will.
I’ve seen people over analyzing couples that have gotten married without the blessing of their parents, and people always pointing out each flaw in their relationship to the “root cause”. Which again is just not true, every relationship has its ups and downs, regardless of how they ended up together.
People want to validate their own relationships and marriages, and sometimes pick on these categories to feel good about themselves. Maybe the next time your colleague brings up the topic ask them if they had a fight with their spouse the night before
Lastly there are many runaways whose lives have turned out to be absolutely amazing, a quick search gave me these beautiful top 10 stories.
That was a no! from both ends as ve described, ve didn’t ver to convert neither would he want to, nor would i want either of them to, not that I am partial to any religion, but why?
If you have accepted your partner for who they are, you really really don’t need to please anyone else, everyone else is flawed as you are. These are discussions that need to be taken down with your partners, the rest of the universe is irrelevant (it’s not like it gives a damn about you).
Cut your losses
Sir Michael Philip “Mick” Jagger once said… “You can’t always get what you want, but when you try you get what you need”, yes Adam Levine made a song about him (Moves likes Jagger)
Perhaps the most diplomatic approach would be, where you continue to do what you do, and hope that eventually things will change and the relationship will be accepted (wishful thinking) or tolerated, and maybe it might, you never know a few years down the line, parents might learn to see the high road
Written By Miyuru Sangith Dharmage
Edited By Afraa Mohamed